What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
