he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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