What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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