I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
