doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
