one word: firstdatebathroomanal
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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