it wasn't lemon gatorade
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
