I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
