how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
