what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
