I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
