so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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