why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
