fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
