got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
