So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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