"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
