$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize