I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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