we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
