theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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