Jerry, you need to find god
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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