if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
