three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
