PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
