So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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