I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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