I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
