i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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