never play flip cup with pint glasses
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
