i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize