The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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