FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My penis needs a shock collar
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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