i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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