She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
