you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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