but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
