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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  nutella sex= disaster

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (941): View more from Florida

  Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.

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• (516): View more from New York

  drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  ...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".

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• (509): View more from Washington

  He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.

  (425): View more from Washington

  Is that even possible?

  (509): View more from Washington

  I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (909): View more from California

  So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.

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• (394): View more from

  Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night

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