dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he told me I talked like a deaf person
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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