I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live