Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
