quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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