His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
