In the future we'll all be gay
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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