you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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