bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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