Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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