I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Can you repeat that, but with context?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
