so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize