Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
