There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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