i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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