I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize