Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Randomize
