Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
