Got a toothbrush?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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