You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Randomize
