I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Randomize
