She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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