So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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