i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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