I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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