umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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