Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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